I'm fat. Its true. If you took my BMI I would be catagorized at obese. I can come up with a dozen reasons why I'm fat, but really they're all just excuses for the fact that I eat shit and don't exercise.
The smallest I have ever been in my life was a size 5/6. That was also what I consider one of the happiest times of my life (funny how I think that was a great time when there have been so many more wonderful times in my life like getting married and having a baby). But back then I was skinny and that made everything better in my world. I was graduating high school. I had a boyfriend that I totally loved, even though he is probably the biggest world class asshole. How did I get and stay so skinny? I developed an eating disorder of course, how else?
I didn't eat and if I did I threw up. I didn't drink anything but alcohol. I smoked like a fiend. Of course I was skinny. I was also hospitalized several times for dehydration. I can't very well do that kind of diet again, especially not when I'm still nursing my little guy.
What doesn't help? My husband. He is always so ugh. *SIGH* "I'm getting fat." *SIGH* "I need to do something." *SIGH* "I'm so lazy and all I do is lay around." This he says about himself, but of course, crazy me thinks he's really saying this about me. Because I do even less than he does, activity-wise. He bought me this eliptical machine 3 or 4 months ago. I can count on one hand how many times I've used it. Its like this big machine sitting in my bedroom taunting me saying "you suck" "you can't last 5 minutes on me" And its true.
Its a vicious cycle. There is so much pressure everywhere I turn to be skinny. My friends all lost their baby weight by the time they were almost 8 months out. My husband makes me feel immense pressure by reminding me that "weren't we going to start a workout routine everynight after you put the baby to bed." NO! You said we were, I said NOTHING. *SIGH* "What ever happened to our workout routine?" I have an idea, how about you flocking workout and I'll go downstairs and eat a gallon of ice cream!
Weight in high school: 120
Weight before getting pregnant: 160
Weight gained in pregnancy: 60 lbs.
Current weight: 180
Height: 5 foot nothing
The smallest I have ever been in my life was a size 5/6. That was also what I consider one of the happiest times of my life (funny how I think that was a great time when there have been so many more wonderful times in my life like getting married and having a baby). But back then I was skinny and that made everything better in my world. I was graduating high school. I had a boyfriend that I totally loved, even though he is probably the biggest world class asshole. How did I get and stay so skinny? I developed an eating disorder of course, how else?
I didn't eat and if I did I threw up. I didn't drink anything but alcohol. I smoked like a fiend. Of course I was skinny. I was also hospitalized several times for dehydration. I can't very well do that kind of diet again, especially not when I'm still nursing my little guy.
What doesn't help? My husband. He is always so ugh. *SIGH* "I'm getting fat." *SIGH* "I need to do something." *SIGH* "I'm so lazy and all I do is lay around." This he says about himself, but of course, crazy me thinks he's really saying this about me. Because I do even less than he does, activity-wise. He bought me this eliptical machine 3 or 4 months ago. I can count on one hand how many times I've used it. Its like this big machine sitting in my bedroom taunting me saying "you suck" "you can't last 5 minutes on me" And its true.
Its a vicious cycle. There is so much pressure everywhere I turn to be skinny. My friends all lost their baby weight by the time they were almost 8 months out. My husband makes me feel immense pressure by reminding me that "weren't we going to start a workout routine everynight after you put the baby to bed." NO! You said we were, I said NOTHING. *SIGH* "What ever happened to our workout routine?" I have an idea, how about you flocking workout and I'll go downstairs and eat a gallon of ice cream!
Weight in high school: 120
Weight before getting pregnant: 160
Weight gained in pregnancy: 60 lbs.
Current weight: 180
Height: 5 foot nothing
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