How do I describe my mom - hmmmm. She is a psychotic, manic depressive, bi-polar, clingy, needy, freak. All my life she has turned to me to fill some kind of void in her life. She was always jealous of any friends I had. It was really hard on her when I didn't need her anymore. I think if she could have been the least bit supportive of my need to have friends my age and do things that the other kids did, like go to school dances or play sports, then our adult relationship would be a lot better.
As it stands right now we're not really speaking. I feel tremendous guilt but I really have to not give in to her, because if I do she will never change. I just don't need that kind of stress in my life. All I can hope for as my son gets older is that I can NEVER ever be like my Mom. Its sad but it is SO true.
Sometimes I wish I had the cool mom like some of my friends had. High school friends, Rachael, Vanessa, and Jessica all had cool moms. Rachael's mom used to let me pretty much live there and she let our boyfriends stay over too. Vanessa's mom also let me live there, she was so cool, she'd let us sleep off our hangovers (we worked for her as chambermaids at their beachside motel), Jessica's mom just never asked questions and let us throw parties at her house. Adult life friends, Brenna's mom is easy to talk to and she makes me laugh all the time. I think it would be enjoyable to have a mom that you could so easily talk to like that. Kaitlyn's mom comes to concerts with us and is so easy to be around. Tim's mom is so nice and fun and again, someone you can just talk to.
If I talk to my mom it always ends up getting back to religion. The woman is not capable of having a conversation with you without bringing religion into it. I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness but it was really more forced than anything. I have a lot of resentment about it. My mom is probably one of the worst examples of a good follower of that religion. She comes and goes from it like it doesn't really matter. I think when we were younger she just used it to try and find a husband and make friends. She has left that religion and come back now 3 times. Everytime she goes back she gets this whole attitude - I'm concerned for you, I want you to be saved, It breaks my heart that you know the true religion and you don't follow it. Wah! I can't take it.
I guess I will make seperate posts aboout specifics incidents involving my Mom but I wanted to get this out.
As it stands right now we're not really speaking. I feel tremendous guilt but I really have to not give in to her, because if I do she will never change. I just don't need that kind of stress in my life. All I can hope for as my son gets older is that I can NEVER ever be like my Mom. Its sad but it is SO true.
Sometimes I wish I had the cool mom like some of my friends had. High school friends, Rachael, Vanessa, and Jessica all had cool moms. Rachael's mom used to let me pretty much live there and she let our boyfriends stay over too. Vanessa's mom also let me live there, she was so cool, she'd let us sleep off our hangovers (we worked for her as chambermaids at their beachside motel), Jessica's mom just never asked questions and let us throw parties at her house. Adult life friends, Brenna's mom is easy to talk to and she makes me laugh all the time. I think it would be enjoyable to have a mom that you could so easily talk to like that. Kaitlyn's mom comes to concerts with us and is so easy to be around. Tim's mom is so nice and fun and again, someone you can just talk to.
If I talk to my mom it always ends up getting back to religion. The woman is not capable of having a conversation with you without bringing religion into it. I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness but it was really more forced than anything. I have a lot of resentment about it. My mom is probably one of the worst examples of a good follower of that religion. She comes and goes from it like it doesn't really matter. I think when we were younger she just used it to try and find a husband and make friends. She has left that religion and come back now 3 times. Everytime she goes back she gets this whole attitude - I'm concerned for you, I want you to be saved, It breaks my heart that you know the true religion and you don't follow it. Wah! I can't take it.
I guess I will make seperate posts aboout specifics incidents involving my Mom but I wanted to get this out.
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