Of course I got a nice long ass response to my e-mail. It wouldn't be my Mom if she didn't try to keep the drama going.
Here it is:
Instead of being so defensive, do you think that there might be a different way to handle this?
Don't respond if you don't want to, but Aiden did get put down for naps three times during our visit. As delusional as you think we are, both Paul and I saw it. Yes you have a right to make all the choices for your child as you see fit, and as evidenced by your reply, it is going to be without any help or input of your own mother.
As for my "demanding" who you were talking to, you are right, I had no right to know - I can only say that the way you were treating your grandmother was exactly like you were an angry child. I'm afraid I lost it when I realized how much it was hurting my mother to be treated so rudely by the granddaughter she helped so much - taking you to school when you refused to take the bus; letting you continue to use her cars even though you had accidents with them. And so much more. She did not deserve the treatment you gave her and continue to give her by ignoring her and not letting her get to know her great-grandson.
You acknowledge that you feel bad because you said nothing to your grandmother, not even showing Aiden to her on the way up the stairs and keeping him hidden from her view. Yet when you realized he was awake you sat in your room with him instead of being the kind and caring person that you could have been.
If you have truly grown up and matured, then you will handle this situation like a mature person instead of like a child who is not going to talk to me anymore until she wants to. I don't see the relationship ever improving and can see now that unless you decide to handle this maturely, I face years of silence from you as Paul has faced and continues to face from his daughter Amy. I am wondering why either of you really thinks we deserve this treatment?
As parents we both loved you both and cared for your needs during all your growing years. Yet you are both acting like spoiled children. And yet we feel as though we are at a loss as to how to help the daughters we've both raised and loved to see that nothing good will come from this anger, resentment and silent treatment. Neither of us were perfect parents but as I said before, we did a lot of good things for our children.
If you cannot repair relationships such as these, then how will you ever help Aiden to have good relationships in his life, especially when he grows
independent of you and starts challenging your parenting. That day comes
in almost every parent's life - even the best parents that there are. You are doing exactly what my father did to us kids. He kept us from having normal relationships with our grandparents and kept them at a distance because he could not resolve issues in a timely and peaceful manner.
Here it is:
Instead of being so defensive, do you think that there might be a different way to handle this?
Don't respond if you don't want to, but Aiden did get put down for naps three times during our visit. As delusional as you think we are, both Paul and I saw it. Yes you have a right to make all the choices for your child as you see fit, and as evidenced by your reply, it is going to be without any help or input of your own mother.
As for my "demanding" who you were talking to, you are right, I had no right to know - I can only say that the way you were treating your grandmother was exactly like you were an angry child. I'm afraid I lost it when I realized how much it was hurting my mother to be treated so rudely by the granddaughter she helped so much - taking you to school when you refused to take the bus; letting you continue to use her cars even though you had accidents with them. And so much more. She did not deserve the treatment you gave her and continue to give her by ignoring her and not letting her get to know her great-grandson.
You acknowledge that you feel bad because you said nothing to your grandmother, not even showing Aiden to her on the way up the stairs and keeping him hidden from her view. Yet when you realized he was awake you sat in your room with him instead of being the kind and caring person that you could have been.
If you have truly grown up and matured, then you will handle this situation like a mature person instead of like a child who is not going to talk to me anymore until she wants to. I don't see the relationship ever improving and can see now that unless you decide to handle this maturely, I face years of silence from you as Paul has faced and continues to face from his daughter Amy. I am wondering why either of you really thinks we deserve this treatment?
As parents we both loved you both and cared for your needs during all your growing years. Yet you are both acting like spoiled children. And yet we feel as though we are at a loss as to how to help the daughters we've both raised and loved to see that nothing good will come from this anger, resentment and silent treatment. Neither of us were perfect parents but as I said before, we did a lot of good things for our children.
If you cannot repair relationships such as these, then how will you ever help Aiden to have good relationships in his life, especially when he grows
independent of you and starts challenging your parenting. That day comes
in almost every parent's life - even the best parents that there are. You are doing exactly what my father did to us kids. He kept us from having normal relationships with our grandparents and kept them at a distance because he could not resolve issues in a timely and peaceful manner.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home