My mother needs some meds or something. Yet another e-mail begging me to be a better person. SHUT UP you freak show!
I have tried and tried but I can't throw away my feelings of being your mother, as much as you probably would like that to happen. I can't imagine that you would ever want to throw those feelings away regarding your child either. I hope you will try to understand that the motherhood feelings don't fade as your child grows and you never stop worrying about their well being, their future, and their lives. You will always want to help your child to improve and be happy and sometimes you are at a loss as to how to make that happen.
So each time as a mother, you think that you need to swallow your pride and try again to make things better. I am not chasing after you, I am just being your mother. And naturally, as your mother I want to know about your life. I don't think that will ever go away Stephanie. I am not sitting in tears crying over you, but I am sad that we have such a bad relationship.
Yes you are all grown up and have your own household and your own ideas on how to raise children and as hard as it is, I need to learn to respect that. But it is hard to stop caring and that seems to be what you want me to do. I wish my heart didn't hurt so much for my children, but it does.
Mothers will always look back and try to see what and where they could have done better for their kids. They seem to always say, I want my children to have a better life than I had.
I am going to attach the beginnings of a book that I have been working on.
It is primarily for my family - a sort of family history. It is not finished by any means as I am just beginning to sort out my childhood memories, but it might interest you - and it might not. Mary did something similar and it really helped her to let go of those demons in her head. It might help you to understand me and my struggle.
I have tried and tried but I can't throw away my feelings of being your mother, as much as you probably would like that to happen. I can't imagine that you would ever want to throw those feelings away regarding your child either. I hope you will try to understand that the motherhood feelings don't fade as your child grows and you never stop worrying about their well being, their future, and their lives. You will always want to help your child to improve and be happy and sometimes you are at a loss as to how to make that happen.
So each time as a mother, you think that you need to swallow your pride and try again to make things better. I am not chasing after you, I am just being your mother. And naturally, as your mother I want to know about your life. I don't think that will ever go away Stephanie. I am not sitting in tears crying over you, but I am sad that we have such a bad relationship.
Yes you are all grown up and have your own household and your own ideas on how to raise children and as hard as it is, I need to learn to respect that. But it is hard to stop caring and that seems to be what you want me to do. I wish my heart didn't hurt so much for my children, but it does.
Mothers will always look back and try to see what and where they could have done better for their kids. They seem to always say, I want my children to have a better life than I had.
I am going to attach the beginnings of a book that I have been working on.
It is primarily for my family - a sort of family history. It is not finished by any means as I am just beginning to sort out my childhood memories, but it might interest you - and it might not. Mary did something similar and it really helped her to let go of those demons in her head. It might help you to understand me and my struggle.
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