Friday, March 31, 2006
I love this weather
I can't wait until Aiden gets up from his nap and we can go out and enjoy the day. I didn't realize how cooped up we were until the weather changed. Its so nice getting out and walking. I think maybe we'll have lunch at the park again today.

Nothing much to say right now but I just wanted to post so that my last post isn't sitting there staring at me.

Chris and I made up. He worked from 7 am yesterday until 9:30 pm. It was a long day for him. I really appreciate how hard he is working and I wish there was something I could do to ease his burden. Aiden was looking around for Daddy at dinner time and again when I read him his bedtime stories instead of Daddy. That is so hard but at least its not everyday.

This morning he screamed and cried hysterically when he realized that Daddy was leaving for work. I know it broke my heart a little bit and I'm sure it must have made Chris feel badly too. Hopefully he'll get home early today and we can do something together as a family. Maybe I'll take Aiden in to see him at lunch time.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Screaming at the top of my lungs
Aarrgh! I am SO frustrated.

Chris and I just had a little spat. It was not pretty. I am so just pissed off and completely annoyed with him. Where do I begin?

I called him at 4:30 and asked him if he could try to get home a little early today because Aiden only napped for a half hour (in the car) this afternoon. So I'd pretty much been going with him since 11 this morning. He said he would try.

Six o'clock rolls around and he comes waltzing in the door. I already have Aiden in his high chair and am getting him his dinner. This is his job and yet he can't be home early enough to start it. I started fuming as the minutes crept closer to 6 pm. If he had just said I'm sorry I was late, I tried, everything would have been forgiven. But he says nothing of the sort. He just acts all hurt that I'm annoyed. What the fuck ever!

I asked him to give Aiden his bath tonight without me which was met with great attitude. I swear. If he would just spend one day in my shoes and feel how exhausting it is taking care of a toddler who won't stay still! It would be one thing if he could walk well on his own but he is only at the pulling up/cruising on furniture stage. He is getting into everything and is exerting his curiousity about his surroundings. I have to be hands on every moment he is awake. Its tiring.

I told Chris that all I needed was an I'm sorry. He gets all huffy and says that he got home as early as he could and he shouldn't have to apologize for that. Fine, then just say that. Don't come home and act like everything is cool and not mention it. I try to tell him how hard its been today and he says that his job is hard too. I'm sorry but having worked for many years I don't think anything compares to motherhood. Its is the hardest, most demanding, thankless, selfless job I've ever had. To which my dearest husband replies "well the jobs you've had haven't been that hard." SHUT UP! Focker!

Ok. Deep breaths. In and out. I need to calm down or I will explode again. I was planning on putting out tonight too. Shaved and everything. Guess what? Not on your life. No fucking way.

Oh, you know what else he said. This is rich. "If you can't handle him now, how are you going to handle things with another baby?" I said, you learn to adjust and deal with what you have to. He said exactly, deal with what you have to. I have BEEN dealing. Is it too much to ask that you come home at a decent time. You leave at 7 am and come home at 6 pm. You spend a measly 2.5 hours with your son everyday. Shut up until you've been there.

Friday, March 24, 2006
I need incentive
I have decided that I can't possibly lose any weight unless I have some serious incentive. I don't think just wanting to be thinner is enough. I need something tangible, a real reward, a light at the end of the tunnel.

I almost want my husband to tell me that if I lose 15 lbs. we can try to have another baby. But I don't think that will do it since he'd be willing to even if I didn't lose any weight. I just feel like I'm holding back on trying to get pregnant again because I don't want to start off this much overweight. I feel like if I can't get my shit together with one kid, how am I going to bounce back with two?

What else can there be to motivate me? Do it for your child I tell myself. Yeah, sure, ok. Still not getting off my butt though. I think of how much more energy I'll have when I'm not dragging around all these extra pounds. They're really weighing me down. Don't I want to be that fun mom that chases my kid around and has lots of fun because not only do I enjoy the time with him but I feel good about myself too?

Maybe a certain mini-van would move me enough. Hmmmm. I'll have to bring that up to DH. If I drop oh 30 lbs. maybe we could seriously look into trading in my car. That would definitely stir something up in me.

Monday, March 20, 2006
The rollercoaster of emotions
That is my son lately. I'm not sure if its teething or what. Maybe he just inherited my mood swings.

Anyway, not much to share lately so I thought I would post this.

When he is happy what do you think he says?

Happy = da da da Da DADA!

Irritated/upset = *whine* *cry* ma ma ma ma ma MAMA!

Its not fair I tell you! Why is my name only associated with tantrums and such. DH thinks its because I'm the one that comforts him when he is upset so maybe he is asking for me in his own little way. All I can say is try getting him to say mama when he is in a good mood. Nope. Won't say it.

He'll even look you right in the eye and say "Na Na Na." I say no m-m-m-MA. MA MA." He just smiles and say "Na Na"

Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Big Boy!!!
Another post about something important that really matters and shit.

I L.O.V.E. that commercial for the Citi Simplicity card where the guy is trying to call customer support and has to answer all these questions to get through. It just totally cracks me up.


Please state your pets name. Fluffy

For a prettier, shinier credit card press 4.

Other questions are asked in which he states firmly Noooo!

But my favorite part is when he is sitting on the packed train surrounded by people and must state his password. Big Boy.

But he does not state it loud enough so must then shout out BIG BOY!!!

Then he finally reaches someone just as the train goes through a tunnel and he gets cut off.

*snicker* Everytime I see that commerical I run around shouting BIG BOY to everyone in my house.

Monday, March 13, 2006
Little bites of heaven

As described in Urban dictionary:

1. Cadbury Mini eggs
link send redefine 14 up, 5 down

Tha Shiznit

Buy me a Bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs
by TZA Apr 10, 2004

2. Cadbury Mini eggs
link send redefine 8 up, 1 down

These egg shaped Easter chocolates with a hard, pastel candy shell are far superior to any other Easter candy. These are not creme filled, like Cadbury's more famous Eggs, but are solid milk chocolate. These once-a-year treats don't receive the attention that they deserve.
Small, egg shaped chocolates with pastel candy shells, sold in a purple bag. Available only at Easter.

by Colleen Mar 6, 2005

Friday, March 10, 2006
Behold the power of my stupidity
This is embarassing. I've never done something so blatantly stupid before in my life, that I can remember. All I can say to defend myself is that I have post partum mommy brain, which does not allow me the pre-baby level of intelligence that I used to have.

So this is what I did. I ordered the invitations for Aiden's birthday party. I've been procrastinating filling them out for weeks now because there are so many to write. I finally sat down last night and wrote each invite out. Then I went through and put our address labels on all the envelops. After I did that I sat down here at the computer and started to pull up a list so I can address them. That is when it hit me. How totally and completey stupid I have become.

As I print the list I shudder to think of what my husband is going to think. Here is how that conversation went:

Me: Hey do you know how many people we are inviting to Aiden's birthday party?

Chris: Isn't it like 30 people.

Me: Yes, and do you know how many invitations I bought?

Chris: No, how many?

Me: Yeah, 30. Do you know how many of those people live in the same household?

Chris: oh no. You idiot!

Me: I know! I can not believe how stupid I am. This is a new low. I am so ashamed.

I bought and filled out 30 invites!!! When I only need to send, get this, ready for it? Be prepared to be impressed:


*and three of those 30 were Chris, Aiden and I. D'oh!!!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006
All I want to do is eat
Seriously. This seems to be how I fill my day. I feel like I am always eating.

I am so weak. I can't turn anything down. Cookies? sure. Ice cream? why not? UGH

I'm just having a pitty party fat day. Don't mind me.

Friday, March 03, 2006
Talk, Talk, Talk
DH and I had a long discussion last night about a lot of things that have been bothering the both of us. We stayed up until midnight just talking. It was really nice to be having an actual conversation with each other instead of going about our various tasks and being mostly centered on Aiden. Although, we did beat each other up a bit, gently of course, it was still good to get it out and I hope it will help in the long run.

He basically would like me to work on how I word things because apparently I am coming off as being insensitive and mean. He tried to give me examples of how I do this. I guess its always hard to see it when you're analyzing your own actions. I have a short fuse/quick temper and I think its even worse now with the whole PMS/hormonal shifts that my body hasn't gone through in well over a year. It does a number on my mentality.

I asked him to be more helpful, instead of me having to ask him to help out. I also asked him again to please try to be more attentive when I am speaking. My biggest pet peeve is having to repeat myself which is something I need to do quite frequently around my DH.

We made an agreement that he would cook one dinner during the week and I would do the rest. I think that seems very reasonable and fair. The weekends are left up to circumstances. He admitted to me that sometimes he comes home and wonders what I've done all day. I admitted that I spend way more time on the computer than is necessary. So I am making an effort to be more aware of my computer usage and try to get my housework done first.

We also discussed our finances and he is considering letting me get a job. He was not agreeable to it the last time we discussed it. But he did let me in on what exactly is going on with our finances and it looks like we should be breathing easier come June. We've got one loan that will be paid off then and the money we've been paying on it every month can get put to other uses. My car loan is going to be paid off in 2.5 years. Thats not too bad. So we'll see what we decide about me working.

The last thing that we discussed was my being able to have ME time. I really feel like I need to get out by myself more for my own sanity. Just being able to run to the store without all this careful planning and waiting, plus 20 minutes to get a little boy out the door, would be soooooo nice. Even being able to sit on the computer for a few minutes alone without interruption would qualify.

So we'll see how things turn around in our house. I really hope this helps us.